w“How do they get socialization if they're homeschooled?” “Aren't you worried about their socialization?” “I could never homeschool; my kids wouldn't get enough socialization.” My oldest is a homeschooled first grader and this is by far the most common concern I hear about homeschooling. In fact last year we took Izzy by train to Fun City for her birthday and while we waited at the train station there was a retired teacher that started talking to her. As soon as she said she was a teacher I sort of tensed up, concerned that she might not be thrilled when she found out that Izzy was homeschooled. It's certainly not that all public educators are against homeschooling, but public school teachers are the people I've most commonly heard voice concerns about homeschooling. Sure enough, she asked Izzy what grade she was in and where she went to school and when Izzy told her she was homeschooled the lady turned to me and exclaimed, “I sure hope you're making sure she's socialized!” I desperately wanted to go through our weekly schedule and explain, “Why yes. On Sundays we have church, on Mondays swim lessons, Tuesdays MOPS, Wednesday AWANA...” etc etc every single day of the week. However, I didn't, because she was a stranger at a train station and I really didn't see the point. Here's the thing: I'm sure that there is perhaps a small percentage of students who are homeschooled who don't get enough “socialization.” I also think there's a chance that homeschooling has changed over time and perhaps in past decades there weren't as many social options as there are now. That being said, in my experience I actually have to say “no” to most activities in order to actually have time to do school at home. There's homeschool dance, homeschool gymnastics, homeschool ice skating, homeschool martial arts, homeschool soccer, homeschool art classes, homeschool trampoline park times. I could literally have my children in social activities all day long every day. That's not including the fact that I can also put them in all of the evening and weekend activities that all of the public school kids are in, or I can dual enroll them in the public school so that they can do the activities and “get socialized” there. All of these little snarky thoughts have been running rampant through my brain this weekend as we had a birthday party for Izzy, who is turning 6, and Kylena, who is turning 3. They managed to invite 70 children to their birthday party. That included all of Izzy's friends from her homeschool assistance program, all of their neighborhood friends, and all of their church friends. It did not include any of their friends from dance or MOPS. So please, please, please don't ask me if my kids are socialized. I PROMISE that they have more friends with more diversity in age and walks of life than I ever did as a kid...and I wasn't homeschooled.
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I'm not a person who makes goals. Plans, yes. Goals, no. I suppose I'm okay with making goals as long as there's a plan to get there. I'm all about practicality.
My five year old has decided she has a passion for whining, or at least that's how it seems. She's incredibly dramatic and you would think that her life is being ruined what seems like just about every moment of the day. And it makes me lose my patience. Quickly. Running out of sanity, I decided to make a goal, especially for while we were doing home school. I was not going to yell at my daughter anymore. Now, this didn't mean that there wouldn't be consequences for her actions. It just meant that I was going to learn how to be timely and consistent with consequences instead of just lecturing over and over until I lose my patience and blow up. It went really smoothly for the first day. The second day we had a slight hiccup because we went to Target and I asked her to wait for me to help her out of the van, but instead she swung the door open and it crashed into the car next to us where there was a lady sitting inside. Fun times. But really, it was pretty smooth sailing for a few weeks, until eventually I lost sight of my goal and my action steps and started falling back into old habits of getting frustrated and losing my temper. Then one morning I woke up and decided to read Ephesians 6. It is not even slightly normal for me to wake up and just decide to read a random chapter of the Bible. To reiterate, I am a planner, and I typically read my Bible based on some sort of plan I've found or created. However, this particular morning I just had Ephesians 6 on my mind. I didn't remember what it was even though I love to remind my five year old of verse 1-3 talking about how children need to obey their parents. However, the next verse, Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Bam. Now I realize I'm not a father, but I assume God doesn't want mothers to provoke their children either. It was exactly the convicting reminder I needed. Funny how God does that, huh? Once again it was a reminder not to provoke my children, but to raise them according to God's Word, disciplining in an appropriate way that will lovingly teach them the truth. It was in fact convicting, but it was also a great reminder of God's grace. I apologized to my daughter for being impatient and harsh and she forgave me. God also has forgiven me and gives me the strength to start over with my goal, trusting that He will continue to grow me as a parent as I remain in His Word. |
Marla HoyMy family says and does silly things and I write it down. Archives
March 2020
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