A couple months ago I shared a blog about generational friendships, stating my excitement that my daughters have built-in friends because of my friendships. Two weeks ago I found out that one of my best friends, and the person who inspired that blog because she has three daughters the same ages as mine, is moving out of state. Cue all the tears. When Brandon and Nora first came to town and visited our church, Shawn and I were asked to get in touch with them. Our first outing together was to Buffalo Wild Wings, a place that Nora likes and I do not. (We would later find out that us disagreeing is a common theme in our friendship). At first I wasn’t sure how this friendship would go, as I am shy, introverted, and incredibly sensitive and Nora is...none of those things. She is outgoing and says what she thinks. She probably made more friends at Calvary in the first month after moving here than I have in my 32 years. It’s safe to assume that these differences caused some struggles early in our friendship. I could be overly sensitive and get offended easily and that meant that I occasionally found myself offended by things Nora said. However, more importantly, I learned that Nora has a good heart, is loyal to her friends, and that her assertive nature also means that she stands up for me on countless occasions. In groups where conflict starts to arise, I sometimes catch her watching me to see how I’m doing and then she works to de-escalate the conversation simply because she knows I’m horribly uncomfortable with conflict. She changes the subject if people start talking too much about essential oils or things that “don’t contain chemicals”, because she knows it makes me absolutely crazy. Most importantly she has chosen to recognize that I am easily offended and has worked incredibly hard on filtering her thoughts before they come out of her mouth. She hardly ever offends me these days (except for the whole moving out of state thing) and I know it’s because she loves me and desires to be a good friend, which she always will be. We still disagree on pretty nearly everything (except that Princess Bride is a terrible movie). In fact, sometimes at Book Club we get called “The Nora and Marla Show” because we tend to do a fair amount of bickering. However, when she moves away I know that we’ll stay friends because I’ll FINALLY get added to her list of people to send birthday and anniversary cards to. ;) (I’m just kidding Nora, I know you sent me one last year.) Probably I won’t write her back as often as I should and she’ll get annoyed by my lack of commitment to sending cards, but Nora, for you I’ll try. Maybe I’ll even participate in MUMs card-making day this year so that I actually have horribly hideous homemade cards to send you. I’m going to make them all red in memory of you coming to my house right after we met and announcing upon seeing all my red walls that you hate the color red. Of course that was right before the f-bomb incident that I won’t discuss here. :) What I’m trying to say, and hopefully what you’re hearing, is that I’ll miss you. Tremendously. And my husband will miss your husband. And my kids will miss your kids. I can’t believe my baby girl is losing her bestie after just 1 year of life. My whole family will miss your whole family and you better visit us all the time. That’s all for now, I can’t do more tears.
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Marla HoyMy family says and does silly things and I write it down. Archives
March 2020
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